Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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