Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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