I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just want to make out with him forever
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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