Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
