I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
