so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
