I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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