I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize