walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
