I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
