I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
