I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
