sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
