I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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