I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
People in love make me want to vomit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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