Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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