Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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