So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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