I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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