It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
