booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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