Pants 0. Shit 1.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
