Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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