While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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