Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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