I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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