Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
