I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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