My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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