What did we do last night that was yellow?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
