I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
