It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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