Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
