Kiss
Puke
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize