Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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