So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.