youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i came on her dog
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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