Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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