last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
