eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
