Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
