Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
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