i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
