You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My pussy is not your playground.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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