at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
