I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do herpes really smell.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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