Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
