The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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