You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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