just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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