Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
