watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
