honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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