Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize