Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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