I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
