Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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