Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.