it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.