you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
operation harelip BJ is a go
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM