i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.