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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  That Cesar Milan is captivating

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance

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• 

  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.

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• (628): View more from California

  That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.

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• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate

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• (713): View more from Texas

  He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.

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• (510): View more from California

  JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps

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