I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The feeling are messing with the penis
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night