You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
