I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
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HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
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I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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