i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
